I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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