My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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