She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
