you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
