he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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