Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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