well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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