There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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