God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
