At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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