I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
