Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
