he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
