i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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