Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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