What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
