Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Boobs speak an international language.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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