I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
