there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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