i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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