I want to make a zoo with you.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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