i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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