omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
