mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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