I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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