this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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