fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
