I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
you made out with another girl for some wings
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
