I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
