I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
