i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
