who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
