Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
