i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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