another moral hangover. fuck.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
