I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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