he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
