How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
