gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
True strength comes from lack of pants
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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