Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
