Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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