My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
