If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
