i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
