best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
