No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
