I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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