I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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