he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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