Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
