what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
