You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
