Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
